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[July 18, 2008 @ 10:10am] |
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Three interviews. Three job offers. Yo~sh.
By the time you guys read this, it will probably be too late for me to make a decision based on your feedback (I've got to contact the companies in about two hours).. but I think my mind may be set anyway. So, here we go~~.
1. Company that's much like the JET Program I'm currently a part of.
Upside:
- It's Osaka. I love Osaka. People are friendly and take the fact that you're foreign with good-natured amusement most of the time (IN MY SHORT EXPERIENCE). Plus, Osaka is so close to everything that it's amazing. Kobe and Kyoto are a few min away, Shikoku just a few hours (so I can easily visit old friends), Kyushu.. it's just amazingly central.
- Long vacations (though with less pay than normal)
Downside:
- It's like my current program - meaning that they have so many employees that you're more of a statistic than a member of a team. I've heard LOOOOOOTS of complaints about employees having trouble sorting out problems between themselves and the schools that they're sent to.
- Like with my current job, you bounce around teaching many schools. Osaka schools are way larger than the ones here. It will probably be harder to get to know any of the kids or feel like Im having a real impact. Don't know that for sure, but it's a thought.
- It's junior high. Im sure not ALL junior high kids are hell, but it was the age group I wanted to teach the least.
Sum: This job is only cool to me because it's in Osaka, and I get long vacations.
~~~~
2. Tokyo Drama School. You teach English through activies and, moreso, roleplaying. Many of the students are kids who want to become actors. I was told they interviewed slightly over 1500 people for this job, and I was one of 20 or so people selected for it.
Upside:
- It's cool as. Directing plays with kids, has associations with several major companies and actors (Ford, Coca Cola, Ken Watanabe, bunch of others). As such, sometimes if Japanese companies want white folks in their commercials and stuff, they might go scouting around this studio for talent.
- 122 fully paid days of vacation. WOW. However, it's the days they specify. You cannot in any way request a special day off unless it's an emergency.
Downside:
- I'd teach many classes, and possibly have to travel to different towns. Whenever you see kids less frequently, it's so much harder to make a connection with them, IMO. That's just me, though. =/
- The recruiter demonstrated an example of a class. It was genki in an EXTREME way. I had to jump around and act like different animals, perform songs, and act like I was hopped up on the best drugs ever during the interview. Can I do this? Yes. Do I want to do this? ...eh, I'm not sure yet. I am genki in my classes, I think, but I don't think I'm overly theatrical. Being expected to act like that constantly makes me kind of wary. Im somewhat of the camp that foreigners can effectively teach English in a fun way without making ourselves out to be monkies.
Sum up: This job sounds cool. It sounds creative. It might be fun. However, even if Im capable of handling it, I dont know if I'm suited for it. I wish I could have seen some classes in action.
~~~~~~~~
3. Tokyo English School. Teach kids anywhere from 18 months old to 14. I'd teach a different subject every week. For example, one week I teach math, another I'd do art, some other time it's history, etc.
Upside:
- During interview, I met the entire school. It's only about 50 kids or so. The staff is also small. You meet the same kids everyday, so the place has an amazing feeling of family to it.
- I like the variety of things I'll be doing. It's not very repitious, since I get different themes weekly.
- Highest pay, but only by 17500 yen (about 175 USD). That's a so-so upside.
Downside:
- Work half of Saturdays.
- Hours are a little longer.
Sum up: It seems to be a very modest, simple job. In other words, it's lacking the glam and the once-in-a-lifetime-chance feeling that the drama studio kept pushing on me. However, because of the size and the fact that you're always with the same kids, I think I can make a larger contribution to this school and the kids' lives. In short, I think it will feel more rewarding. And they watched me interact with the kids in the interview. They want me for who I am, rather than who I can be. So it's less stressful.
That's it. If yo usee this, quick thoughts?
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[July 05, 2008 @ 5:23pm] |
I feel like I've been forcing myself to be genki, pretending to be cheerful and enjoying everything and anything anyone says to me, for so long that I've lost who I am. I don't have any confidence in the idea that people can like me when I'm just being myself. I've never had tons of confidence, but in the past there were at least some things I was always sure of. I was sure of the kind of person I wanted to be, certain about the shape of my goals and dreams (even if they were far off or vague), positive that I'd always be up to taking on whatever might come in the future.
For the last year or so, all of that has been changed.. or at least, fuzzed over.
I don't know who I want to be - and worse than that, I really doubt who I am sometimes. It's like I hesitate even when I'm trying to be honest with myself.
I'm struggling so much with the leave, too. I'm torn between wanting to secure what are weaker friendships (or even just acquaintances) and wanting to let things be - just run away from everything and having a clean slate. A lot of people I've met here are incredible in different ways, though.. I worry that by letting opportunities to hold onto these relationships slip past I'll be forcing myself to miss out on very good things because of my own stupid fears and insecurities. On the other hand, I don't want to be hurt anymore when things don't work out.
I'm so tired of crying, so tired of worrying that if I ever admit to being upset people are going to write me off as pessimistic or melodramatic. I just want more things to be real, including myself.
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| In Regard to the Previous Post.. |
[June 27, 2008 @ 3:37pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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Since I got a few emails and IMs where people were like, "Uhhhmmm..".
It wasn't anything serious, really.
Yesterday, on the way home, I took one of the quieter backstreets. The street is a really short distance away from school, and runs behind a convenience store (picture a gas station-y kind of store). Back behind that store, near the garbage bins, I saw one of my school's students talking with two guys. When I came closer to passing them, I noticed one of the guys looked like he was about to offer the student a cigarette. Bleck. I don't like it, but hell, I teach teenagers. I know there are more than a few out there who are going to smoke and drink.
However, seeing me coming, I heard the student telling the guys to stop. They asked who I was, and he said I was a teacher. At this point, I was just about to pass them. They had obviously seen me and were staring, so I nodded my head. They kept staring, and the student looked like he was extremely nervous, so I told him goodbye as I passed.
At that point, the guy lit up his cigarette next to the kid and started yelling, "SAYONARA" at me. Like, in a sarcastic "what are you gonna do about it" kind of way. When I just nodded my head and kept going, he kept yelling "sayonara" and "goodbye" after me.
I wanted so much to punch him in the face. ^_^ Punch him and make him cry like the little whiney whussy man that I'm sure he was. Seriously, what was the point of that? Prize winner for best f*ckup of a role model. > < I've dealt with the "let's talk to the foreigner like it's not human" crap before - it sucks, but whatever. But I'm sorry, doing that to make a show in front of one of my students? Gaaah. Then giving him the cigarette?
Punch to the face. Would have felt great.
In other news, had blood drawn today. My arm is tingly. :p Fun all around. It's the weekend! ...but that freaks me out more than it makes me happy. Time is flying!
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| Sometimes it's a good thing that... |
[June 26, 2008 @ 5:02pm] |
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1. I have very, very little upper body strength.
2. I have very, very little skill with the Japanese language.
For just about my entire life I've always had people scolding me that I let myself get depressed/upset too easily, and that I should get angry during the bad times instead. And I ponder over this, debate whether it's true..
... then situations like the one that happened 15 minutes ago occur.
I got very pissed and wanted to pop someone in the face. ^_^
Apparently I'm a violent person at heart? It's probably for the best that I'm more emo than hothead.
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| Stolen |
[June 13, 2008 @ 9:22am] |
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music |
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VAMPS - Love Addict (!) |
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Because I need to wake my brain up before I attempt anything productive..
A N G E R
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
-- Nope! I don't angered by people so much as I get depressed because of them ;p
2. Which family member has the worst temper?
-- My aunts or uncles. Mom doesn't exactly have a temper, but she's too defensive.
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone's face?
-- Lots of times. I still do.
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
-- I don't think so. O.o
5. When you're mad do you prefer to keep to it yourself?
-- I rant like crazy to whatever close friends I have available. If that's not possible, I clean and rearrange furniture. Don't ask. I don't get it either.
E X C I T E M E N T
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
-- Yeah! 13th birthday. I had just moved to a new town, so it was seriously touching. Scared the hell out of me when, like, 10 people jumped out of a closet, though.
3. If you won a million $$$'s what would be your first thoughts be?
-- NO MORE UNIVERSITY LOAN! THANK YOU GOD!
4. If you could have anything right now, what would it be?
-- A secure job in Osaka for a year!
Y O U
1. Name: Krissa
2. Where were you born?: New Haven, Connecticut. Think Gilmore Girls.
3. What's your main goal in life?: To make the most of it and not have regrets along the way
4. Do you want to have children?: No idea.
5. How do you want to die?: Either of old age, or instantly. x_x None of this prolonged illness stuff.
O P I N I O N S
1. Sex before marriage?: Whatever. As long as people aren't hurting one another, I say to each his own.
2. Lower the drinking age?: Either that, or raise the bar for drafting into the service. I can't see sending boys to war but not letting them have a beer.
3. Abortion?: Don't want the choice taken away, but hate when people abuse the option.
4. Recycling?: Do it!!!
L O V E
1. Do you have a crush?: Only the 16 year-old girl who's hot for the rock star kind.
2. Who is the best hugger: Dunno. o.o
3. Love at first sight?: Anything's possible <3
L A S T
1. Person you saw not in your family? One of my JTEs.
2. Person you hugged?: Angie, I think
3. Movie watched?: I can't even remember the last time I watched a movie..
4. Song you listened to?: Groove Armada - I See You Baby (Shakin' That Ass) XD
P L A N S
1. What are you doing now?: This quiz, and using gchat to pass out VAMPS PV links to Sar and Dev
2. What are you doing tonight?: No idea. I'm tempted to be a bit of a couch potato, but that seems a waste.
3. What are you going to eat for dinner?: I'm debating.
I N T H E L A S T M O N T H H A V E Y O U
1. Bought something?: L'ARC~EN~CIEL L'7 TOUR GEAR!
2. Gotten sick? Don't get me started..
3. Been hugged? Yep!
4. Felt stupid? At least once a day.
5. Missed someone? Always miss people back home.
6. Failed a test? Haven't taken any.
7. Danced? At the concert I shake it almost as much as hyde.
F U T U R E
1. Do you want to get married?: Probably
2. What kind of house do you want?: Something near the ocean
H A V E Y O U E V E R
1. Shaved your head bald? No way.
2. Taken over an hour to get ready? Before the straight perm, it felt like it took forever to get my hair somewhat tamed..
3. Gone to jail? When we did this interview back in High School I went in a cell for a few minutes. Freaky.
A R E Y O U G O I N G T O
1. Continue using the computer? Yep! I wanna write on mixi.
2. Hang out with someone today? Couch Potato versus Social Interactions debate commence..
4. Go to school? I'm there now. Does that count?
W H I C H I S B E T T E R
1. Rain or snow? SNOW
2. Summer or Winter? Depends on what country I'm in. Generally, summer.
3. Text messaging or MSN? Usually text messaging, but I HATE texting on Japanese cell phones. HATE HATE HATE.
4. McDonalds or A&W? What's A&W?
5. Movies or shows? As in, live performances? If so, shows.
H A V E Y O U E V E R
1. Said "I Love you"? To friends and family, all the time
2. Given money to a homeless person? Yeah. I also bought breakfast for some guy back at university who had been kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend. He probably didn't deserve it, but he looked baaaad.
4. Waited all night for a phone call? Nope.
5. Snuck out: Not uh. Never had a curfew.
6. Sat and looked at the stars? Love to whenever I can.
7. Sleep in a bed with a person of the same sex? Haven't most people? Or I'd think all girls have, anyway.
9. Stolen money from a Friend? Never stolen money, period.
10. Seen someone die? Yeah, pretty much.
11. Been on an airplane? I swam to Japan.
12. Slept all day? Yep, but I don't like to sleep in later than 10 at the most
13. Missed someone so much it hurt? It happens when you're always far from home
14. Fallen asleep during school? High school physics.
15. Been lonely? Unfortunately.
16. Cheated in a game? Only as a joke, not sneakily.
17. Been in a car accident? Never had so much as a dent until the first two minutes of driving my car in Japan.
18. Had detention? No, but I probably should have.
19. Sung in the shower? ALWAYS. Until Japan. Now my walls are too thin.
20. Regretted hurting someone? Yeah, lots. I worry way too much about having upset people I probably shouldn't give a damn about. ><
21. Regretted loving someone? Not really... I feel like I've learned from even the worst of memories.
22. Been SUPER happy you cried? Yeah! I got teary at the concert xD Although, I suppose I was more moved than happy..
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| GO ANGIE, GO! |
[June 10, 2008 @ 2:42pm] |
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I just want to let out a very genkified cheer in Angie's direction. I hope she learns Japanese as quickly and easily as possible, and then goes out there and rocks this world with her fab skills.
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| The Glittery Undead |
[May 13, 2008 @ 8:37am] |
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Against better judgement, I started reading new moon, the second book in Stephanie Meyer's vampire series. It's been lying around my house for ages, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least slightly curious as to where the sequel would lead.
These aren't the best books ever written, but they're fun... for the most part. In an an extended, melodramatic, soap-opera~y kind of way.
But..
The author's doing it again. With the last book, there were only two points that I really didn't like. One, the main character was such a Mary Sue that it made me cringe (EVERYONE loved her, but she was oblivious to why. Constantly. The 1st person narrative had Bella claiming she was extraordinarily plain, but every guy in the country wanted to get in her pants. Riiiight). Second - love interest Edward's eyes.
It felt like a single page didn't go by without Bella talking about them. They were stormy, they were molten, they were lead and ice and fire and deep and chilled and inquisitive and loving and searching and scolding and shining and turned overeasy. It NEVER ended. And if Bella wasn't talking about his eyes, it was his hair, his skin, his lips, his smile.. We got the point. Edward is pretty.
I tried to let it slide, because I think you need to give some leniency to 1st person narratives. This was a tale being told by a 17 year old girl in love - chances are, most people dating someone with looks so good they're unholy would wanna gush.
Now in new moon, though, here we go again. This time it's ... bum bum bum.. "the hole". Bella is heartbroken, and frequently describes her loss as a hole that was ripped out of her. That makes sense. No fault there.
Except she feels the need to bring it up EVERY FEW PAGES. I just counted. In 14 pages, it was brought up 7 times. That means once every two pages we need to read anything from a few lines to a paragraph about the hole in Bella's chest. Dwelling on heartbreak is understandable, especially when the main character is young and inexperienced. However, Bella is supposed to be a stellar English student. Surely, <i>surely</i>, she can think of some other ways to describe her pain.
It's the eyes all over again. To give an example.. her "hole" (and stop right there with the hentai sniggers) has been rubbed raw, stretched, punched, and torn consistantly for the last 280 pages. Every time something goes bad, the original hole is mentioned or a new hole is made. I get it. Bella, you're swiss cheese.
That aside, I'm liking this story better. In the last one, Bella, imo, was kind of bitchy (although no one else perceived her as so). She just seemed to constantly be turning her nose up at all of the classmates around her. This time Meyers is making more of a show of the bad qualities of some of Bella's classmates, and all around giving everyone more character. It makes a big difference. Also - Jacob. Just a kid, but with a fun personality. Finally, Meyers was able to build suspense a lot in the last book, and this time she does it even better. The last chapter I finished yesterday before bed involved a classic scratching at the window; it was set up well enough that I peeked out my own a few times before calling it a night. ^_^;
Time to run to class. I haven't looked at my f'list in ages, so sorry for that!
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| SCHEDULE |
[April 09, 2008 @ 4:08pm] |
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Rentrer en Soi - Sora Yumemiru Mizuchuuka |
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There were some last minute edits made, so it's less packed than it was this morning. Still, it's way more classes than I've ever had before.
:( Figures. A year and a half of begging for more things to do, and I get zilch. Now that I'm hitting my studying harder than ever and researching future job opportunities, here comes a richer schedule. しょうがない、ね。
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| File sharing, media rights, etc etc |
[March 16, 2008 @ 7:49pm] |
Short post, because I really don't have time for this, but it's on my mind since so many sites (news and otherwise) are talking about Japan's updated attack against file sharing.
Does anyone else feel like this is kind of scary? As in, how incredibly out of control file sharing on the internet has become?
I'm not against file sharing; I'm really not. In fact, if it wasn't for the previews I get from most files, chances are I wouldn't buy the products that are out there. The thing is, though, when I find something I like I <i>do</i> eventually buy it. Sometimes it takes forever, but it happens.
However, for every person that is purchasing what they can when they can, there seems to be way more people that are satisfied with the freebies they get off of the net.
And how in the world is the media business ever going to combat this?
There are so many methods of spreading communication on the internet that, to me, it's become a phenomenal show of power. It really makes me wonder what the music, movie, and internet industry will be like in another ten years.
Because, as of now, to me it looks like pirating is pretty unstoppable. I can't think of anything that businesses can do to keep sales strong without privacy infringing rules popping up among internet providers.
I wish more people thought about this stuff. :/ Maybe then it wouldn't have to be such a problem.
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| Japan blocked!!! |
[March 13, 2008 @ 10:08pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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From crunchyroll. SUCKS!
And here I thought it was the more legal way to view files. Shows what I know.
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| Irritating! |
[March 13, 2008 @ 3:15pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Jordin Sparks w/Chris Brown - No Air (damn you, Steph) |
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First and foremost - regardless of the vibe this entry will put out, I'm not depressed. I'm not writing to vent so much as I'm writing in hope of sorting through some of my thoughts. I need some clarity if I'm not to trip up and fall into a rut.
Anyway, I feel like my self-esteem has been dragged through a field of exploding landmines. More straight to the point - it's in tatters.
This is seriously weird and foreign to me.
Like anyone else, I've had my ups and downs - the usual doubts while growing up, nasty bullying, issues with friendships, failures, etc. The thing is, in the past, regardless of how bad I felt about one aspect of myself, I think I've always had some other aspect of myself that I took some shred of pride in.
As of late, I'm coming up null.
I don't feel intelligent, I don't feel attractive (physically or personality-wise), I don't feel talented or interesting or strong or creative. I feel like any effort I put into myself and anything else under the sun comes up a failure (or close to it).
In short, I feel like a complete waste of space.
The easy fix to this is to keep working to reach the goals I have set for myself, and, to do my best when riding out whatever curves life's pitching. Instead, I'm being a dipshit and doing the exact opposite. Rather than putting my best foot forward, I've been holding myself back and watching time go by. I fear failure before I even try, so I just haven't made any attempts at.. well, anything.
I am a slug. desu.
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| So Much For A Bright Start |
[March 05, 2008 @ 9:14am] |
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I went to bed just a wee bit earlier last night, expecting an energetic and sunny start to my morning. Well, I got the sun, but total zilch on the genkiness. I kept having distressing/depressing dreams that woke me up all night (I think I blame the KAT-TUN vid). I only remember bits and pieces of said dreams, but am rapidly working to forget them.
Another sad part of my morning is discovering that my newly found and cherished Strawberry Ole drink is not, in fact, only 63 calories despite its colossal size (I was wondering how Japan was managing to defy food chem with this one). As it turns out, it's 63 calories per 100 mL. This carton is about 309726027 mL big.
I wrote in my real diary for two nights in a row. That makes me proud.
I skipped out on studying for two nights in a row. That makes me ashamed.
Guess I should stop wasting time here and get back on top of things, right?
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| o_o Hum. |
[March 04, 2008 @ 10:09pm] |
I think hyde visiting the KAT-TUN boys on their show made a bit of an impression.
Anyhoo, hardcore KAT-TUN. I think I might have actually giggled.
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| Graduation Day! |
[March 01, 2008 @ 8:51pm] |
Today, I feel like i experienced the absolute best and worst in people.
Lucky for me, the reps of the former are so amazing that the latter stung, but didn't bring me down too much.
Kanpai to the kind people in life. <3
PS:  |
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| Awww, or Uh-oh? |
[February 22, 2008 @ 1:02pm] |
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mood |
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The 3-nensei were telling the local Ramen shop owner that, "Krista is not a teacher, she's a friend".
^_^ I'm simultaneously like, "Awww.." and "This explains so much."
And for some reason, I'm recently enjoying studying Japanese verbs. Mostly because I like to make odd sentences and leave confusing notes on the other desks in my mini-office.
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